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You are responsible for your happiness

You are responsible for your happiness

Jennifer goes from one relationship to another looking for happiness. When she broke up with her boyfriend who she had a relationship with for over three years, she couldn’t stand the fact to be alone. She immediately went into another relationship looking for happiness.

Does it sound familiar? How many people do you know that go from relationship to another looking for happiness? How many people do you know who keep blaming their lovers for their unhappiness?

I stated in my book “How to win your lover’s heart” that you are responsible for your own happiness, no one else. Stop blaming your partner for your lack of happiness and take responsibility for your own thoughts and life.

The love that you get from your partner adds to your happiness, but should not be the main source for your happiness.

How to become happy

Once upon a time, there was a wise man in China known for his wisdom and for being constantly happy. A young man who lived in the same village wanted to know the secrets why this wise man is always happy and has peace of mind.

When the young man went to the wise man to acquire about his secret to happiness, the wise man said, that when you learn to control your thoughts, you will get a happy state of mind. It requires effort and practice. You have to develop good mental habits and the more you work on those skills, the more you will become happier.

Control your thoughts

Let’s face it, you can’t have an emotion before having a thought. Therefore, your emotions are result from your own thoughts. If you learn to control your thoughts, then you learn to control your emotions.

When you encounter a circumstance where you feel helpless, frustrated, or angry, simply choose to look at the situation from the positive side. Most circumstances that you encounter in life have a positive side to them. Once you learn to interpret events in a positive way, you will be on the path to happiness.

Always remember what Aristotle said, “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” 

Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away. How to win your lover’s heart was released by to help you win and capture your lover’s heart and avoid breakups.  To check books, click here

For more information, read:

What is unconditional love?

How to save your relationship and marriage

6 steps to improve your relationship with your spouse

Win your lover's heart The ultimate guide to achieve your goals How to have peace of mind


  1. Linda says:

    This is so true, Dia.
    We choose the behaviour, we choose the result. There is always a positive side to an event if only we take the time and thought to look. I could moan about our appalling UK greyness but hey! It’s a good reason to stay in and write!

    • Dia says:

      Hi Linda,

      I agree with you we choose the behavior. In life, we have a choice and it is ofr our benefit to choose something uplifting and positive :)

  2. Jk Allen says:

    Dia – this was powerful…controlling emotions has a prerequisite of having control over thoughts. I get it. The story of the happy Chinese man really painted the picture for me – further developing the lessoned that I learned. Good mental habits, lead to the control of thoughts…which then can directly lead to the emotional feeling of happiness. Thanks Dia!

    • Dia says:

      Hi JK,

      Exactly, it is when we learn to control our thoughts, we start controlling our emotions. The important thing is to choose thoughts that are positive and that can benefit us.

  3. Stuart says:

    What an inspiring read Dia! The story about the Chinese man reminded me of another story I once read, but it isn’t relevant to your post here, so I’ll keep it in store for a later date 😉

    Hope you’re good Dia :-)

  4. rob white says:

    Yes indeed, Dia. Within us all is a fertile field of consciousness. This field will yield whatever we plant. If we intend to live successfully, we must take the time daily to plant and water thought-seeds that give inner strength to accomplish our dreams. I mind filled with positive thought habits is never at the whim of negative emotions.

    • Dia says:

      Hi Rob,

      Exactly my friend, we have to make sure that we plant positive things into our mind and subnconscious mind. It is a daily process. It is just like a flower that has to be given water daily to grow.

  5. Katie Brandt says:

    Taking responsibility for your life and happiness is a major step that turned my life around. Blaming other never solved anything. I try to remember that the universe is always planning in my favor and if an event looks bad at first, I know that in the end it happened for the best possible reason for me :-) That thoughts keeps my prospective

    • Dia says:

      Hi Katie,

      Exactly, we are all incharge of our lives. We are responsible and not one else for what happens to us. God wants the best for us and when we ask him, he does answer. If we believe he is going to help us, then he will :)

  6. Thank you for another awesome motivational article Dia!

    How’s life? :)

  7. So true Dia.

    At the end of the day, happiness is a choice and it’s up to me to choose it.


    • Dia says:

      Hi Alex,

      Exactlly my friend, it is our choice to choose happiness or sadness, positivity or negativity. We decide…

  8. Dandy says:

    Hi Dia,
    You are right on the money! Those who feel others are responsible will never know happiness for themselves. I took me awhile to figure that one out. My bad moods are because of me and my happy moods are because of me. It does take a constant stream of positive self-talk to change our emotions. But we must do this. Otherwise we’ll be walking throug life with blue colored lenses on. Thanks for the great thoughts Dia!

    • Dia says:

      Hi Dandy,

      I agree with you Dandy. We shouldn’t depend on others to make us happy. They add to our happiness, but the true source of happiness comes from ourselves 😉

  9. Dia, you mean to tell me that I’m the guy that has to put a smile on my face every day?? Say what?? 😉

    Love your take on this subject Dia. We control our happiness destinies.


  10. Joshua Noerr says:

    Dia, you hit on a great point. Happiness requires mental training. If you don’t work at it, it’s not going to happen. Isn’t it funny how hard people will work on external factors, but how little time they will work on themselves?

    • Dia says:

      Hi Joshua,

      Exactly, mental training is needed, otherwise, we would stay thinking in a negative way all the time just the way we were programmed by our parents, friends, media, society, etc… It takes effort to change our limiting beliefs, control our thoughts, and achieve happiness.

  11. Dia: So true. You can really choose to look at things differently and see the better side. When you are able to continually do this, it is amazing how it will change your world view and all your experiences for the better. Thanks for the great message.

    • Dia says:

      Hi Sibyl,

      Exactly my friend, when we start looking at things in a positive way, a lot of things change in our life and for the better. :)

  12. Hi Dia! You said it my friend “you are responsible for your own happiness.” We can all be happy right now by choosing to do so. It’s an exercise in awareness at each moment and then it just is who we are. :)
    Thanks for this beautiful reminder. Loving blessings!

  13. paul wolfe says:

    Hey Dia

    Couldn’t agree more – in my opinion the personal abrogation of responsibility can be seen in all areas of life, and has a degrading effect on both a personal level and a societal level.

    I was sliding into debt and getting deeper and deeper – it wasn’t until I stopped ‘blaming’ the recession and took responsibility for my income levels that I started doing something about it, and seeing an improvement in my situation. At the end of the day whether it’s happiness, love, finances or health the universe won’t look after you, you have to look after yourself. The Universe doesn’t care.

    More people need to get that message out – and more people need to act on it. Keep putting the message out….