Stop seeking approval
Are you in need for people to approve what you do? Do you change your position if someone disapproves of your opinion? Do you say things you don’t believe in just so you won’t get criticized? Approval seeking is one of the main destructive behaviors that plague millions of people every single day. Everyone likes approval from their family, friends, colleagues and so on, but seeking approval becomes a detriment when it becomes a need. A student writes a paper that his teacher doesn’t like. The student becomes obsessed with his teacher’s approval. The student goes home and does not sleep wondering if his teacher likes the paper or not. This is a clear example of a person seeking approval. The student should now that it would be nice to get his teacher’s approval for the paper, but it is not a necessity. If the teacher doesn’t like it, that is perfectly fine. You need to start relying on yourself and on having confidence. When you seek people’s approval, you are basically saying to other person that your opinion is more important than mine. People don’t have to agree or like everything you think or do. We are all different. Imagine for a minute if everyone thinks and believes in the same thing. Then, we would all have one profession, one religion, one type of looks. How boring would that be? Therefore, learn to accept that fact that you will come across people who will disagree with you.
Below are ways to stop seeking approval from people:
1. Learn that people’s opinion is not more important than yours. If someone disagrees with something you do or say, just tell them, “that is fine. Each one of us has different opinion.” You are telling people that your opinion is more important than theirs and you don’t need their approval.
2. Learn not to argue if someone doesn’t approve of your opinion, just ignore. If you argue and start getting defensive, then it shows that you got affected by what they say because they disapproved of what you said or done.
3. Stop apologizing for everything you do or say and know that you can’t make everyone approve of you. Accept the fact that you will not be everyone’s favorite and move on.
4. Think of people’s disapproval as something good. Imagine if all the people think alike, dress alike, behave alike, study the same thing, eat the same thing. What would the world be? Life would be boring. It is the difference of opinions, beliefs, and personalities that makes life a lot nicer, so start to think of people’s disapproval as something that is needed.
An elderly father, young son and their horse decide to visit a village. When they went to the village, the young son was sitting on the horse and people started saying how cruel the young son is for sitting on the horse instead of his old father. To evade people’s gossip, the next time they went to the village, the old father and his son decided to switch places. The old father sat on the horse and the young boy walked. People in the village started saying how cruel the old father is for sitting on the horse and letting his young boy walk. The third time they decided to visit the village, both the elderly father and his young son sat on the horse and people started saying how cruel the old man and his son are for sitting on the poor horse. The forth time the elderly father and his son visited the village, they decided to not sit on the horse and walk, so no one can gossip about them. This time, people in the village started saying how stupid the old father and his son are because they have a horse and none of them was sitting on it.
As you can see, people are going to disagree with you and criticize you no matter what you do. Live your life the way you want to and let people live their lives the way they want to.
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