Making peace with your past
Is making peace with your past difficult? Do events in your past trigger negative emotions in you when you encounter a similar situation or circumstances? How to make peace with your past?
When Erin was in her teens, she used to encounter negative remarks and disapproval from her class mates. Years have passed and now Erin is a Secretary who keeps focusing on the idea that her colleagues talk about her negatively and keep saying she can’t succeed in life. She goes on to mention that whenever one of her colleagues talk about her negatively, she starts dwelling on the current event and what she experienced in the past in her teens as well. Sounds familiar?
When you suffer from something in the present, there will usually be connections from your past that trigger the current emotions like a song you heard, a perfume you smelled, food that you ate. In Erin’s case, the disapproval and negative remarks that she experienced during her teens are affecting her present since she gets annoyed, irritated and stressed whenever someone talks negatively about her.
Making peace with your past
One of the best ways to making peace with your past is to get rid of the negative thoughts that you arecurrently experiencing by getting rid of their negative connection and you can do this by changing how you think about the past experience. You can’t change the past, but you can change how you view what happened.
When you first get hurt from a negative situation, ask yourself, “What exactly am I upset with? Can someone’s opinion of me or a certain event hurt me and cause me discomfort without my approval?” You always have a choice to accept or reject any negative thought that enters your mind.
If you focus on the negative parts of the past, then you are looking at your past with a negative view, which means you have to change how you think of what has happened. In the example above, Erin has to change her focus and view of what happened in the past to something more empowering. She has to make a solid decision not to let anyone’s opinion of her bring her down. She has to focus on her goals and vision and never mind what people talk about her negatively.
If she lets her colleague’s harsh opinion and criticism get to and annoy her, then it is her choice, no one else. It is her choice to switch what they say to something that will motivate and inspire her, otherwise making peace with her life will be a very hard task. For example, if one of Erin’s colleagues says she will never succeed, she then can say, “Who told you that? I’m always successful. Success is my last name. I can achieve anything that I intend to achieve.” 
Erin has to make peace with her past and take responsibility for her life. As soon as she starts blaming the past, circumstances, people or anything in life, she is playing the victim role which means she is wasting her time and setting herself up for more disappointments.
When she encounters a negative event that triggers negative and painful memories from her past, she has to know it is time to change her view and make peace with what she experienced and turn that painful memory to something more positive and empowering.
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Making peace with your past takes time. I remember when I hated my ex-girlfriend for ignorant reasons. For a while, it prevented me from not seeing eye to eye with my dreams because i was way too distracted. But after time passed and i moved on emotionally, i realized that forgiveness was the only way to surpass the past and embark on a better future. You can do the Same by taking your time, accepting the past and working on a better tomorrow, today.
King Author
I’ve had to deal with a lot of issues from my past, partly through therapy and partly on my own. The main thing is recognising when you are reacting to something from the past before you over react, and understanding why you feel/react the way you do.
Charlotte recently posted..Luxury Ski Chalets
True words Dia.
Making peace with our past allows us to live in the here and now and better enjoy the present moment and the moments yet to come.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Alex
Dia,
This is very important insight to gain. We all have baggage we carry with us from the past, but how we handle it is most important. I heard a saying that goes, “we must turn our coals of the past into the diamonds of the present, or they will come to burn us in the future.” There are ways to find value from our past mistakes.
Joe Wilner recently posted..How to Break the Cycle of Self-Defeat
The past is still very much alive today and in our futures melded into our emotions and bones and our spirit Dia showing itself when an old wound gets opened or a new option triggers an old hurt. I’ve found this and the only way to leave the past behind is to face it, to get real and deal. Then the only day you will be living and loving is the current one.
John Sherry recently posted..How An 82yr Old Widow Beats The Blues
What’s up Dia –
Peace with the past, Amen! I didn’t realize the power in this until I was an adult. I used to to internalize and hold on to past things as motivators. It worked. But, the past always stuck with me. I’ve moved on from that train of thought and now find my motivations from much better sources…ones that don’t come back and haunt me in the future.
Thanks for this post. it was excellent!
How very true my friend… I sabotaged relationships for years because of my past experiences and my negative attitude. It took me years to realize that it’s my own fault and that I was letting those situations control my outcome. Getting rid of the negative chatter takes lots of practice but it can be done and I’m thrilled to say that I have finally put all of that to rest.
Thank you for sharing this topic with others. It’s a process but one that can be achieved if you want to lead a much better life. You outline so many wonderful ways to move on with our lives here at your place. I enjoy reading what you have to share. Thanks for that Dia!
Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted..Wow, Google Doesn’t Like Me Anymore
Dia,
Negative thoughts can be a physical and emotional drain. The very memory of something you have done that you are not proud of can stop you from moving forward in your life. That is why forgiveness is so important. You have to learn to forgive yourself and even more important we have to learn how to forgive others. It all starts with that one question you shared with us. What exactly am I upset with? Great post!
Frank recently posted..The Rollercoaster of Life
Great post Dia. In Erin’s case she need to realize that as teens they do things that are hurtful. The popular people you go to school with will not make a difference in 5 or 10 years anyway. She has to see that situation for what it was, a mess of unpolished teenagers, that will get there someday. Hopefully.
You are right, if we don’t deal with the past, it will affect the future and has to be seen for what it was and use it as a learning experience. Just like a child learns to climb the stairs. If they fall down them enough they learn to do it right. If the past hurts you enough find out where the hurt is coming from and why. And then you can leave it in the past.
Blessing to you Dia,
Debbie
Debbie @ Happy Maker recently posted..5 Mistakes that Make You Look Cold Hearted When it Comes to Single Mothers!
Hey Dia,
Many of us respond to present circumstances because of negative events that have happened in our past. Once we step into the present moment and disconnect from the past we can consciously choose how we want to respond.
I think the best way to make peace with your past is by meditating and forgiving. I have tried vortex wheels too (the abraham hicks thing) and they work out pretty fine.
Jaky Astik recently posted..The Art of Getting Exhausted (The 3 Step Process)
Hello Dia,
Very well said,we all are only responsible for our lives,we have power to mold our past,present and future tending towards our expectations with our view to handle them.I am sure we all have faced something negative in our past,but as you have said that “What exactly am I upset with?,this is a most important question which we have to ask with ourselves before allowing some negative thought to enter in our minds.I really admire your thoughts Dia and appreciate your research on human nature.That will gonna help us a lot.
THANK YOU and GOD BLESS
manish2010 recently posted..Outdoor Kitchen Equipment
Hey Dia,
You make such a powerful point. If we have a belief that we formed in our childhood or teenage years, it will keep creating as long as we activate it. So, bitchy cheerleaders turn into bitchy coworkers. The great thing is that we can clear that belief using our past or our present. Either way, once it’s cleared, it’s gone and then both the cheerleaders and the coworkers lose all their power.
Hugs,
Melody
Melody | Deliberate Receiving recently posted..The Story of the Broken Water heater – An LOA Example
It never fails to amaze me of how stuck we can allow ourselves to become in the past. It’s ruining our Present, which is all we have, and we let it. I had to look an old nemesis in the face this morning (it appeared in the news in a positive story for him) and I shocked myself by feeling absolutely nothing. No bad feelings, just nothing. That’s progress I didn’t even realize I’d made.
Julie | A Clear Sign recently posted..Manifest Miracles by Shifting Your Perspective In The Face Of Dramatic Change
Hey Dia,
We must not kill ourselves over our past mistakes, because they make you who you are today. Instead, you have to learn from your mistakes, because as days pass you are going to make them. Making mistakes is what makes you human. Instead of beating yourself over the head learn from them and make peace.
I have learned from many of my mistakes and I try not to do them again.
God bless,
William Veasley
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Making peace with the past is not an easy thing to do..but it is very possible once you are ready to face a better tomorrow.
Past plays a major role in controlling us; in whatever we do in the present time leading to the future and so without this peace ..it’s not going to be great and peaceful days ahead of us.
ryder recently posted..Online Dating
Hi,Dia,
I think that as long as we can learn from our mistakes, it is good for our development overall.The problem occurs not when we cannot make peace with the past, but when we avoid acknowledging it and keep doing the same mistakes all over again. Negative experience from the past is quite a natural and automatic reaction. It tells us we have conscience and are aware of the fact that this time we should do things with different approach. A matter of instinct.
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Thanks all for your comments and for your insight.
My, my, what an interesting topic? I must say that i can very much relate to it. Making peace with your past is, something that is not easy to do. I guess this would take a lot of effort, in my case. But i have realized that nothing would happen if i will keep all those anger and pain in me. So better to let go and just accept things. Make peace with the past and live happily in the present.
ursula recently posted..100 FREE DATING SITES
Forgiveness is what you do for yourself, not for other people. When you forgive, it doesn’t mean that you approve of what’s happened. Rather, it means that you’re giving yourself permission to move on with your life.
charlotte recently posted..Accommodation Chamonix
Making peace with your past is a vague statement but the content of your post is great, I think its more Making peace with the people in your past (or cutting them out totally – sometimes the better option)!
danika recently posted..My theory is that everyone has tinnius
I love it when you said, “You can’t change the past, but you can change how you view what happened.” Realizing this can really help us make that peace with the past. Yesterday may indeed be the father (mother) of today, but that also stands that today is the mother of tomorrow. So, undo what happened yesterday by your thoughts today so that tomorrow will produce a different result!
Chadrack recently posted..WordPress SEO: Laying A Solid Foundation For Your Blog’s SEO Strategy!
You see.. One of the hardest things to do in this life is how to make peace with your past. But no matter how hard it is, you still have to do it, so you can strive for a better future.
Andrew Walker recently posted..LDJ Lights Coupon Code
To be honest, making peace with our past is really difficult. It will take time, courage, patience and awareness to truly free ourselves from the dictum of our past.
We should always keep in mind that there is no such person who hadn’t done a mistake in past and is not annoyed with that. It’s obvious making peace with our past is really tough, but it is not that tough too if we can consider the past fact as just an incident. We should welcome all those harsh opinions and motivate ourselves to improve the capability to face the truth.
Joshua recently posted..Plumbing Design Training
Hard to make peace with the past especially when you’re hurt really bad. But then if the past is keeping you away from the success you really want then you have no choice but to forgive your past and look at things at the present with a positive view.
Christy recently posted..Hello world!
Based from my experience, it’s really hard to make peace with my past but very fulfilling once you let go of those burden from your past. As of now, I’m still trying to move on, trying to learn something new from time to time so I could finally forgot about my past. I’m happy right now because I’m seeing some result so far.
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