I’m so desperate for a girlfriend
Have you heard the following statements before, “I’m so desperate for a girlfriend! I’m so desperate for a boyfriend?” I’m sure you have! What about you, are you desperate for a girlfriend/boyfriend?
If you look around you, you tend to see many males and females desperate to get into a relationship. Some of this desperation is a result of lack self esteem, lack of love, peer pressure, and lack of interest in life. Many individuals think they will never be able to attract someone they can love and be loved in return, so they feel hopeless in life.
I’m so desperate for a girlfriend/boyfriend
To deal with this kind of desperation, first we need to analyze the root cause of why so many girls are so desperate for a boyfriend and so many guys are desperate for a girlfriend.
1. Lack of self esteem
People, who have low self esteem, feel negative about their life, career, relationships, or any other area of life, so they become desperate for a romantic relationship so they can feel better about themselves and compensate for what they lack in one or more of the areas in life.
If you fall in this category, then you need to start developing your self esteem. Being in a relationship will not build your self esteem, however, overcoming your limiting beliefs about yourself, learning optimism, and learning new skills will.
Let me ask you something, let’s say you get in a relationship now while you have low self esteem and you become happy in the moment, then suddenly, your partner breaks up with you and leaves you all alone. What will happen then? If you have low self esteem, then it will hit bottom low, but if you have high self esteem, you will move on in a short period and realize this was only an experience.
2. Peer pressure
Peer pressure is another root cause for why some girls become so desperate for a boyfriend and some guys desperate for a girlfriend.
For example, if a girl is single, but has a group of girlfriends who all have boyfriends, they might start pressuring the single girl into getting in a relationship. They might say something like “Why don’t you have a boyfriend? Can’t you get a guy? Are you a loser?” If the single girl has low self esteem, then such questions might have a huge negative effect on her and she might become so desperate to get a boyfriend.
If you have some friends who are pressuring you to get into a relationship then, you might want to consider spending less time with them and work on getting new friends who support you. True friends are the ones who support you, not pressure you into getting in a relationship when you are not ready for it.
3. Depending on someone for your happiness
Some people are so desperate to find someone to love, so they can feel happy. What they fail to realize is that happiness is an internal state, not external.
I explained in my book “How to win your lover’s heart” that your boyfriend or girlfriend are not responsible for your happiness, you are. As long as you stay depending on your partner for your happiness, you will never become truly happy. Yes for sure their love can and will enhance your life, but true source of happiness is internal which means you are responsible for it.
Begin to love and show compassion to yourself instead of being so desperate to find a partner. When you begin to treat yourself in a compassionate and loving way, others will see that about you and then when someone shows up in your life, your relationship together will be much happier.
Now, that you know the main causes for someone who is desperate for a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you need to start taking some steps to stop being desperate. If your self esteem is low, then work on improving your self esteem before you get into a relationship. If you are looking for someone to make you happy, then start by making yourself happy first. Remember, all the answers that you seek are within you internally, not externally.
Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away. How to win your lover’s heart was released by 2achieveyourgoals.com to help you win and capture your lover’s heart and avoid breakups
For more information, read:
How to nurture a relationship?
How to mend a broken relationship?
How to trust your partner in a relationship?
Sometimes in our desperation to find someone to spend a life with, we forget to find ourselves along the way.
This is what I took away from your post Dia. Thank you.
Alex
Hi Alex,
Exactly my friend, in other words, usually people who are desperate to find someone lack love for themselves and want to be with someone so they become happy, this why they become desperate usually. Instead, they should learn to be happy with themselves even if they are single and know that the special someone will come. There is no reason for desperation. Thanks my friend
Dia recently posted..I’m so desperate for a girlfriend
Hi Dia,
It’s true, if we are not happy without a relationship we won’t be happy within one.
Any and all relationships require a time and energy investment so being in one can make us happy or it can drain us as well.
Justin | Mazzastick recently posted..Find Your Passion By Following What Excites You
Hi Justin,
Thanks Justin
Exactly my friend, if we are not happy without being with someone, we will not be happy when we are in a relationship. We have to be happy even if we are single and don’t have a partner to share our live with as happiness is internal. Then, when we do find that special person, our lives would be much better.
If I had read your post as someone who is in that position, I would be waiting for you to tell me how I can suddenly turn on the self love and find self esteem when I have never done it before and I don’t know how to. Is there a part 2 of this post that might answer that, as presumably if they knew how to be independent and strong on their own they would be?
Good post though and I couldn’t agree with it’s points more.
pea recently posted..Time Bandits
Hi Pea,
Yea I hear you, in this article I mentioned the causes that make a person desparate since this is an article, not a book. However, in a future article, I will discuss and focus on the solutions. The post is coming very, very soon.
Thanks Pea
Great topic, Dia. A huge fallacy that folks have latched on to is the idea that they need someone else to “complete me.” The reality is we are all whole and complete exactly as we are. Having harmonious relationships is a wonderful experience of life, but we must make it inside first if we are to truly experience this joy.
rob white recently posted..An Old Story
Hi Rob,
Exactly my friend, we have to make it inside first if we are going to enjoy the relationship. As the law says, “As within so without.” Once we can see it and live it, then it will only be a matter of time before we experience it.
Thanks Rob
Dia recently posted..I’m so desperate for a girlfriend
Dia,
So many people are looking for love. Unfortuately, a lot of them are looking for it in all the wrong places. One of the best ways to attract a companion is to work on yourself first. Find a way to improve who you are and others will automatically be drawn to you. Unless you are terribly shy and spend all of your time indoors. If that is the cas I don’t know what you should do.
Panic? Dia help them out.
Frank recently posted..Improving Productivity with Purpose?
Hi Frank,
I love your humor as always buddy. Exactly, working on ourselves is needed first especially internally. We have to work on overcoming our limiting beliefs, develop faith and persistence. Now, if someone doesn’t go outdoors, then he has to start going outdoors
Getting away from our comfort zone is necessary in this case. Thanks Frank 
Well said. I find that self-love is way under-rated. Just by putting my hand on my heart and appreciating the love already within I make myself more attractive to others. A well loved person is mush more likely to attract the attention and sincere love of others.
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work recently posted..Top Seven Benefits of Knowing Who You Are
Hi Tom,
You have said it beautifully! If we feel the love within ourselves, others will be able to see that about us. This is necessary if we want to attrace the person we dream of into our lives. Thanks Tom
Dia recently posted..I’m so desperate for a girlfriend
You have made some truly great points on this article in regards to being desperate for a boyfriend/girlfriend. I always go back to asking “what emotion is making me react in this way? So out of balance?” True love is found “within”…and once you know that…it is not hard to recognize in others.
Some people jump into a relationship because they are seeking for something that can actually complete them. This reason is absolutely a NO to anybody because it can cause trouble in the long run that might affect the relationship. I’ve experienced having a low self-esteem while in a relationship. It can make me feel insecure all the time.
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