How you learned to worry?
Did you learn to worry from your parents? Did society affect the way you interpret situations? How do you control constant worrying?
Every time John drives his car, he starts worrying. He starts imagining that a car is going to hit him and he will make an accident. The reason John learned to think this way is because when he was a child, he used to see his father worry every time he drives a car. Hence, John learned to associate driving with worry and anxiety.
Jennifer grew up seeing how unstable her mother’s relationships were, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Therefore, Jennifer grew up afraid of commitment in relationships. Every time she meets a guy that she likes and wants to take her relationship to the next level, she starts to worry and anxiety fills her heart.
Are you like John and Jennifer? Did you learn to worry based on what you saw from your parents, family, friends, and society? Do you associate worry and anxiety with various aspects in your life?
As I mentioned in my book “How to overcome worry” that one of the main causes for excessive worry and anxiety is the way you were taught to view events and how you were taught to handle situations that you encounter in life.
You were taught to worry
As I mentioned in my article “Who programmed your subconscious mind” that many of your behaviors, habits, thoughts, were acquired by various ways such as friends, family, school, society, media, and mainly your parents.
There is a concept in psychology called “modeling,” which means that just as children learn from their parents how to walk, behave, and express themselves, they also learn how to interpret situations from others.
If your parents suffered from excessive worry and anxiety, then there is a very good chance you have excessive worry because you learned this behavior from them mainly as well as from friends, society, and media.
Overcoming worry and anxiety
If your goal is to unlearn this habit and to know how to stop to worrying which you might have learned through your parents, then you can do so through positive programming. By positive programming I mean learning to interpret situations in a positive and healthy way.
As I always mention in my articles that there are at least two interpretations for every event and situation in life, one positive and one negative. Your goal is to learn to focus on the positive interpretation.
Learning to interpret situations and focusing on the positive in every event has made a huge positive difference in my life back in 1998 when I started my journey in the personal development field. If you apply what you learn to your life, you will overcome excessive worry and anxiety. The key is to read and apply what you learn to your life, so you can reap the rewards. 
Remember that “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
Have you ever wondered why some people are happy and have peace of mind while others keep worrying? Why do some people’s life filled with worry while others filled with happiness and peace of mind? My e-book How to overcome worry answers those questions and teaches you the scientific ways to control and overcome worry and have peace of mind.
For more information, read:
How to overcome fear of failure?
Hi Dia, brilliant quote at the end to sum up! I agree with you about ‘learning’ to worry from your parents; my Dad’s a natural worrier, so I picked up a few things from him that caused me to worry about things like financial loss and failing.
But we have to move on, we can’t live our parent’s lives. We have our own lives to live, to make our own mistakes, and learn our own lessons. Then when we have kids, we must step aside and not force our worries onto them. They too must learn for themselves.
Great read Dia
Hi Stuart,
Exactly my friend, we have got to be careful what we learn from others and only accept the positive. We can unlearn worry but it takes practice and diligence. Thanks Stuart
Dia,
Great Post! It is so true that worrying is a habit. I can be having a great day and my subconscious mind will go looking for things to worry about. It just seems to come natural. I plan on using this knowledge to control my reactions to the circumstances that life brings.
Hi Frank,
Yea, we have to control how we react to situations and learn to interpret them in a positive way, so we can avoid excessive worry. Thanks Frank
Dia,
I’ve seen you around and finally decided to make it over here…..glad I did!
I love your examples of John and Jenifer, because their scenarios are both true. We all pick up habits from our surroundings, both good and bad. The key is identifying the bad ones and nuking those bad boys over time.
enjoyed the post Dia!
Hi Jason,
I’m glad you made your way over and you are welcome here
Exactly, we have got to get rid of the “bad” habits, so we can stop harming ourselves. Thanks Jason
I love the basis of your angle of ridding worry. It was once learned, and became a habit. Anything learned, can also be unlearned (that’s from a recent Rob White post!).
Your knowledge in this area is superior. I love that you share the real life aspects that many of us can relate to, and the science behind the scenes- which help us understand the why and how.
Thank you Dia!
Hi JK,
Exactly my friend, we can “unlearn” a behaviour or a habit. Once we know how we acquired worry and anxiety, then we can start to overcome excessive worry and anxiety. Thanks JK
Actually I am John and I did worry Dia- so much so I worried myself into anxiety and a deep depressive spiral. The answer and the solution was that I didn’t feel I had the confidence and ability to handle any situation that came my way and that invariably the more negative things would swamp and beat me. So I expected them and invited them into my pysche everywhere.
Know that you ARE enough – you’ve survived to this point and won through so you can do it again and again. YOU ARE A WINNER and the only thing to worry about is how much time you’ve got to have all the fun you can in this playground called life.
Hi John,
We all experience worry and anxiety from time to time, the key is to not let it affect our lives in a negative way. Once we learn how to deal with worry, we can start living a life filled with happiness and peace of mind. Thanks John
Dia, right on, man. I heard Erwin McManus (pastor of Mosaic in Pasadena, CA) talk about this once. He said that as young kids, we have no fear in the world. That’s why as a toddler, we will boldly walk wherever we want to go with no fear of where it will lead. What happens? our parents will come and grab us and force us to stay within the confines of closed spaces. We have to learn “boundaries.” Our parents (or teachers) are trying to protect us, but in reality, it’s teaching us to worry, to not make waves, and to ignore boldness. This is why unlearning the habit is often so difficult – it’s so ingrained into our blood. Thanks for sharing. I hope other readers will take it to heart.
Hi Bryan,
I agree we have got to unlearn this habit which is excessive worry and anxiety, so we can learn a healthy life. There is no reason to worry over something we have no control of. Depend on God and he will do the best for us. THanks Bryan