How to stop being a perfectionist?
Are you a perfectionist? Do you know how to stop being a perfectionist? What is the perfectionist personality?
Perfectionism is a term that describes people who like and want everything to be perfect in their lives, otherwise, it is not acceptable. When perfectionists don’t achieve their goals, their self esteem suffers, lose self confidence, and start seeing themselves as “not good.” They view mistakes as failing opportunities instead of experiences, which is why many perfectionists suffer from excessive anxiety and worry.
As I mentioned in my previous article “What is type A personality?“ that being a perfectionist is one characteristic that individuals who have the type A personality have. If you keep asking yourself the question “Am I a perfectionist?” then you might want to understand the perfectionist personality traits and the steps you can take to overcome perfectionism.
Perfectionist personality traits
- Describe Themselves as perfectionists
- Judge themselves based on other’s opinion of them
- Find it hard to admit their mistakes
- Avoid working on tasks for the fear of not accomplishing the tasks perfectly
- Have high expectations of themselves and others
- Afraid not to be good enough
- Don’t like people to see their true personality and reality
- Suffer from excessive anxiety and excessive worry
How to stop being a perfectionist
To learn how to stop being a perfectionist, follow the quick guide below:
1. Accept yourself
You have to accept yourself the way you are. You have to realize that you are unique the way you are. This doesn’t mean you have to stop working on improving yourself and incorporating new good habits into your life, but what accepting yourself means is you have to love yourself at all times. You have a great purpose to give to the world, so focus on that the gift that God has bestowed upon you.
2. Build your self confidence
One of the traits that people with perfectionism disorder have is that they judge themselves based on other’s opinion of them. They are obsessed with seeking approval, which usually increases their anxiety and worry.
As I stated in my book “How to overcome worry and have peace of mind” that building your self confidence is one of the best ways that help you to combat anxiety and stop being a perfectionist. When you learn to acquire the necessary skills that you need in your life, you will find that your self confidence increases and anxiety decreases.
3. Build your self esteem
Having low self esteem is one of the main causes that make some people suffer from the perfectionism personality disorder. Make it a daily habit to compliment yourself on something that you love about yourself. Compliment yourself on everything positive you do to someone else as well.
Building solid self esteem requires that you change your mindset and the way you look at yourself. Fill your thoughts with loving and caring thoughts about yourself, which will not only help program your subconscious mind, but will also help you decrease anxiety and worry.
4. Learn to relax
One of the best ways to stop being perfectionist is to learn how to relax to decrease your anxiety. One of the my favorite ways to relax is by exercising and stretching early in the morning for over an hour. I have incorporated this habit into my life for the past 13 years and it made a huge difference in my life. Learning to relax will help you as well, especially if you suffer from the perfectionism disorder.
Always remember what Harriet Braiker said, “Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.”
Have you ever wondered why some people are happy and have peace of mind while others keep worrying? Why do some people’s life filled with worry while others filled with happiness and peace of mind? My e-book How to overcome worry answers those questions and teaches you the scientific ways to control and overcome worry and have peace of mind.
For more information, read:
How to overcome fear of failure?
Who programmed your subconscious mind?
Hey Dia! Excellent post, my friend. I have to make a confession here. I am a perfectionist, and oddly enough, one of the biggest places I have found my perfectionism is in my blogging. When I began to attract a wide audience, it was tempting to get caught up in making sure everything looked right, was spelled correctly, and that I had enough words for each post. Eventually, that sort of made me crazy and took all the fun out of it. I had to make my articles a bit shorter and relax a bit. Building self-confidence through relaxation is essential. Thank you!
Bryan Thompson recently posted..What Do You Read to Keep Your Mind Awesome
Hi Bryan,
I can hear you my friend. The fact of the matter is we can’t be perfect no matter what we do. We can be close, but not 100% Accepting that we are humans and relaxing for sure help us a lot. The more we relax, the less worry and anxiety we experience. Thanks Bryan
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
Sorry to say, but your profile picture tells it all. The stern look which you tried to cover with your smile shows the level of perfectionism that you possess. Congrats on changing your attitude.
The saddest people and the unhappy ones on this earth are the class desribed above. They wish achieve every goal that they set and on failure, go into depression. When nature itself favours disorder over order, why should we be so ordered? For example, orderly arranged heaps of foodgrains make the nature angry and the winds does its work. Lets follow the ideology of nature for we are dependent on it.
Ranjith recently posted..Reflection in the mirror-In search of what constitutes my life
Excellent Dia! The people I’ve encountered who believe themselves to be perfectionists are not happy people. Having expectations just leads to a downfall one way or another. Accepting ourselves for who we are is a great way to put that dreadful perfectionsism beind! Great work Dia!
Dandy recently posted..Boundary Lessons
Hi Dandy,
Yep for sure, perfectionists experience excessive anxiety and worry more than others. Wanting everything to be perfect creates stress in their lives. Once they learn that “mistakes” are opportunities that they can learn from, they would achieve peace of mind. Thanks Dandy
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
Dia,
To be honest, I’m a closet perfectionist. Of the tips you offer, I’ve found that when I take time to relax and accept what’s happening, them my perfectionism and anxiety diminishes.
Alex
Hi Alex,
Relaxing for sure is a great way to reduce excessive anxiety. Once you stop putting too much emphasis on perfectionism, you would enjoy more peace of mind. Thanks Alex
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
Excellent topic, Dia. Many folks declare themselves Perfectionists so they have the right and perfect excuse to procrastinate. It is clever trick the ego plays to keep people from ever beginning to realize their aims and aspirations… they reason “I won’t get it perfect, so why bother?” The truth of the matter is successful achievers know that real progress is a Zig-Zag journey. The person who is willing to “make a fool of himself” is the person who has breakthrough after breakthrough.
rob white recently posted..ROAR-ing Brings Certainty
Hi Rob,
Exactly my friend. The successful is the one who keeps on persisting and doesn’t let temporary obstacles stand in the way. Mistakes are opportunities that offer great lessons. Thanks Rob
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
Dia,
Great article. I have fallen victim to trying to be a perfectionist on several occasions. And guess what? I have come up short on all of my attempts. I now focus on being human. I am going to make mistakes. It is gauraneteed to happen and with that in mind my life has changed for the better. The tips you provided is exactly what people need to set them free from unrealistic expectations. Thanks.
Frank recently posted..Get These Chains Off of Me!
Hi Frank,
I think we all can attest to that. No matter what we do, we find that we will always make mistakes. The key is to learn from mistakes and view them as learning experiences. Thanks Frank
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
Good list Dia. For me it’s all about learning to relax and knowing that mistakes come and go, but are rarely ever as big as they ‘appear’ to be in the moment of frustration.
Take my blog for example. I write and publish stuff all the time that’s imperfect and flawed. Sometimes there are typos. Sometimes there are mistakes. But hey, I’m not perfect, and if I find a little fault here and there, I just fix it…and move on. such is life.
Great read Dia.
Marcus
Marcus Sheridan, The Sales Lion recently posted..Gutsy Bloggers and the Amazing Power of Opinion
Hi Marcus,
Exactly my friend, if you don’t relax and view mistakes on your blog as something that is part of life, then you would start experiencing anxiety. This applies to everyone in life in all different situations. Thanks Marcus
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
Good job Dia. I like the first on Accepting yourself. This is at least half the battle. When we accept ourselves we like who and what we are. Yes, we know and can work on improving, but we can relax and take it as it comes. I like just being human and using the talents the Lord has given me. thank for reminding us to stop and enjoy life instead of trying to live it perfectly. Debbie
Hi Debbie,
Isn’t wonderful to be just human? Instead of worrying over what we do wrong, we should relax and focus on the positive. Life is too short to worry about perfectionism. Thanks Debbie
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
I love this article. For so many years I aspired to perfectionism and thought it a noble trait. Letting go that burden is such a release. I’m aware that I still have some traits at times, but nothing as bad as it used to be. Thank you.
Hi Marty,
Isn’t wonderful that you are experiencing more peace of mind? Once we let go of expectation and perfectionism, we will enjoy life more. Thanks Marty
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
The question that perfectionists need to be asked is: what could you do if you weren’t a perfectionist? And the answer is: a heck of a lot more. I know as a writer that you revise or rework something ad infinitum. However there comes a time that you have to bring it to closure and move on. And accept the reality that you will always see improvements could have been made.
Riley
Riley Harrison recently posted..GOAL SETTING THAT WORKS part 7
Hi Riley,
Yep, you have got it my friend. There has to be a closure and move on when we work on something. No matter how good we make something, it will never be perfect as improvements can be made all the time. Thanks Riley
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
Dia – This is certainly an area that I have to be careful in; being over analytical of myself. Because of this, I can spend hours on something that should take me 30 minutes. And then, when I’m done, I don’t even like the final product. How frustrating.
I do accept and admit that perfection is a place I WILL NEVER reach. Thank you for providing this tips Dia, sincerely. I’ve found when I allow my self to just flow – everything works out for the better.
Thank you Dia!
Jk Allen recently posted..Street Smarts Reigns Supreme and Experience is King
Hi JK,
Exactly, the best thing is to relax and know that perfectionism is unrealistic. God is perfect, not us humans. Knowing this fact will reduce excessive anxiety and worry and it will make us live life in a better way. Thanks JK
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist
I’m with Frank on this one. I’ve been focusing on being human as well. Trying to be a perfectionist only brings frustration and unrealistic metrics/goals. Of course I want the best out come in any/everything that I do. I’ve learned that the best way to make that happen is to be the best me, let my personality shine through and just be me.
Great post!
Chelsea Thomas recently posted..Don’t Forget To Put Some Thought Into Your Title
Hi Chelsea,
Accepting ourselves as we are is crucial for our well being. We all want the best and we should strive to be the best we can be. After all, we are humans that keep learning in life and growing as human beings, but perfectionism is a different thing and it is unrealistic. Knowing this fact, makes our lives free of worry. Thanks Chelsea
Dia recently posted..Are you an optimist or a pessimist