Skip to content

How to stand up for yourself in a relationship

How to stand up for yourself in a relationship

Do you standup for yourself in your relationship? Or you let your partner talk to you in a hurtful way?

Couples often complain about the interactions that they have with their partners from time to time. They feel sometimes that the other partner is not respecting them. Since they often don’t want to make the situation bigger, they suppress their emotions so the situation won’t get worse.

If you ask one of the couples why they don’t stand up for themselves when an argument arises and why they don’t communicate their feelings, answers such as:

  • He/she will not listen to me
  • He/she will get upset and things will be worse.
  • He/she will start blaming me
  • I don’t know what to say
  • I want to avoid arguing

Jane has been married to her husband for 6 years. They both love and respect each other a lot, but sometimes when they disagree at something, she feels as he is screaming at her.

For the past 6 years, she has been responding in a polite way, but sometimes, she can’t take it anymore and blows up in his face, which in return makes their relationship rocky.

Jane is looking for answers to her problem as to how she can tell him to stop raising his voice at her, so let’s help her out.

How to stand up for yourself

When you are having an argument in a relationship, your goal is to calm down because if you respond in an aggressive way, things will get worse. In the situation above, Jane has to…

Communicate her feelings to her husband in a calm way.

In most cases, her husband will be understanding and will respond to her in a friendly and calm way. People generally don’t like to be told they are wrong, so if Jane communicates to her husband the idea with the intention of improving their relationship, she and he will at least begin to feel better.

How do I know that? Because most couples don’t want to argue or put themselves in a negative situation.

If your partner is from the minority and likes to argue, then you have 2 choices:

Either you two work on the relationship to grow together spiritually or separate.

The fact you attracted each other means you both were at the same spiritual level and nothing can change unless you both work on improving yourself internally by changing your mental images.

Standing up for yourself in a relationship varies from situation to situation, but in most cases if you respond with the intention of enhancing your relationship, things will turn out better than you have hoped for.

Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away. How to win your lover’s heart was released by to help you win and capture your lover’s heart and avoid breakups. To check books, click here

For more information, read:

How to trust your partner in a relationship?

My girlfriend doesn’t trust me

How to build trust in a marriage?

Win your lover's heart The ultimate guide to achieve your goals How to have peace of mind


  1. Heidi19 says:

    The problem with I can’t hold my temper. I feel I’ll explode anytime when I can’t say what I wanted to say with him. And worst is, we have the same temper. To be able to cool down myself I have to walk away with him until I feel calm, and same with him. We shouldn’t talk when we are both angry or mad.
    Heidi19 recently posted..Arowana – a prized investment catch or …

  2. Hiten says:

    Hi Dia,

    You have brilliantly explained how to communicate in a relationship.

    Supressing emotions doesn’t help. That is for sure. However, we can still express what we want effectively, if we do as you say, with the intention of improving the relationship.
    Hiten recently posted..SPEAK from the HEART: A true manual in the art of public speaking

  3. Elle says:

    I couldn’t agree more Dia. Well said.

    I found very early on in relationships that I often needed some time to process the experience and I learned to ask for that time. “I do want to talk about this, can we do it later?” Sometimes later would be an hour, half a day or even a whole day (not often…I’m a big talker!). And it worked out well.

    Encourage one another.
    Elle recently posted..The Power Of Words.