How to not say something you will regret
One of the things that people do, then regret is say something they don’t mean. Sometimes, the individual tries to be funny, says the first thing on his mind without thinking, or just says something for the sake of participation. Many people try to overcome this habit, but find it hard to.
Do you say something that you regret later on? Do you reply sometimes in exaggeration?
How to overcome saying something you will regret
To learn how to not say something you will later regret, follow the quick steps below:
1. Speak less
When you speak less, the chances you say something you regret will be reduced. When you are silent, you are less likely to say something that can offend others.
2. Ask and listen
When you ask a question, this will help you to remain silent, so you can listen to the answer instead of saying something you will regret afterwards. When you listen, this will also give you the chance to think about what the other person said.
3. Don’t talk about yourself
It could be difficult for you not to talk about yourself especially if God has blessed you with a prestigious job, financial success, luxurious house, and wonderful family. However, the last thing you want is to make people think you are arrogant. Try to make a balance and talk more about topics that people and you have in common.
4. Wait for 3 seconds
When someone finishes what he or she has to say, wait for 3 seconds before you reply, so you make sure the person has finished talking. This will also give you a chance to gather your thoughts and not say something in a rush way.
5. Focus on the response
Moments of frustration and anger can make you say some words that you might regret later on. What you have to do is take a step back and use your ability to control yourself and emotions. Focus on the response from the other person, not on how he or she responds.
6. Think before you speak
Now that you know the previous steps and you have strong desire to not say something you might regret later on will make you think before you speak. Think before you utter any word and think how the other person is going to interpret it. It is a good idea to count 1 to 10 before you say something when you are angry or frustrated.
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For more information, read:
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Good post, Dia. I think this is something we all struggle with from time to time. One of my favorite quotes is from Abraham Lincoln: “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” Words to live by, right? Have a great day! I will work to put these steps into action, my friend.
Hi Bryan,
Yea for sure silence has huge power. Is someone speaks while he or she is angry, they can sometimes offend others or say things that they will regret, so it is better in these kinds of situations to remain silent.
Having a bit of a filter on what you say can often be a great thing. Your tips for this are good things. One thing I like to do is just avoid talking about a subject while really angry. I am a pretty mellow person, I do not get angry often, but when I do it usually flashes quickly, if left alone I will get over it quickly too; but if pressed, that is when things i regret saying come out.
Hi Steve,
Yea it is better to remain silent while you are angry. Many people end up saying something that they regret later, so it is a good idea to be aware of the words that we utter.
Dia – This is useful. It’s great to get information that we ‘kind of know’, but we never put deliberate thought to – so we don’t have a solid understanding of it.
I particularly like speak less. this is something that I practice and have for the past few years. I make sure that when I do have something to say it’s of value to the situation at hand.
Very good and informative article Dia.
Thank!
Hi JK,
Exactly my friend, most of us know what we should do to avoid saying something that we might regret, but not many don’t think about it. Speaking less and only when you have something of value and positive is a good skill
Dia!
This post couldn’t have come at a better time. With the holidays being here we are seening relatives & friends we haven’t seen for awhile and sometimes we come across a person who just sets us off the wrong way. These tips are great. I love the 3 second rule. Taking a short pause helps us from shooting off from the hip. It also helps to be in control of our emotions before we speak! That is the best way to avoid regret. Thanks Dia! I enjoy your posts so much!
Dandy
Hi Dandy,
For sure my friend, taking a little pause and controlling our emotions is crucial. Emotions get controlled by our thoughts. If we control our thoughts, then for sure we can control our emotions.
Hey Dia
Lol, speak less
That reminded me of when someone says something they shouldn’t and then another person is gently nudging them, trying to get them to stop.
I think many of us just need to learn when to stop speaking
Hi Peter,
lol That is funny, yea I see this happening many times. Yea, being silent and speaking less, especially when we are angry, frustrated, helps us to not say something that we might regret afterwards.
Hi Dia,
These are great tips!
I always make it a practice to speak less. Some people consider me a bit quiet, but I keep down a lot of mess that way.
I know people who say things to make me mad, but I try my best to make my response short.
I like your tip about not talking about yourself too much. I am often turned off by people who do this. It tells what that person thinks about the most.
Good information!
Evelyn
Hi Evelyn,
Yea, speaking less helps us to avoid conflicts and saying things we regret. It also helps us to learn more. When we listen, we are gaining knowledge, but that is a different topic. Speaking about one’s self constantly is a turn off for many people, I agree as they come as arrogant.
Thanks for the list Dia,
Personally, two of my favorite are; Don’t talk about yourself and think before you speak. They are both very vital points to note in having a successful human interaction.
Hi Tito,
For sure my friend, thinking before you speak is necessary, so our message becomes clear and so we avoid uttering something that we might regret.
Hi Dia,
Having just finished hosting several extended-family members at my house for a VERY long 2-week visit, I had to practice vigilantly many of the tips you listed above!
I really like the point about listening more, because doing that really helped me to hear what unspoken messages were in comments that on the surface may have seemed insensitive or snarky. With reflection, it’s easier to see what needs the person is trying to get met, but maybe doesn’t quite know how to express yet.
Taking the time to think about what was said before I responded allowed me to avoid what could have been several uncomfortable moments.
Hi Tisha,
For sure taking time to reflect before speaking is crucial. Many people have avoided saying something that offends others when they took time to reflect before speaking.
Dia,
This article is so timely for me. All of your points equally hit home. The key for me will be to take a step back and remember to do these things when I am emotionally charged. When I am anxious or nervous I tend to lose my words. Thanks for such a great article.
Hi Lisa,
For sure taking a step back is really helpful when we are emotionally charged. It is a great step to use, so we won’t hurt or offend someone else.
Awesome post Dia,
Yeah, its always good to listen before you speak and talk less. Love this post bro. Thanks a lot for sharing. Have fun.
Thanks Samuel
What a great quality it is Dia that of learning to shut up and listen versus ‘putting foot in one’s own mouth’….this was great man. You’re lists are always on point brother.
Hi Marcus,
Speaking only when we have something to say and when we are not emotionally charged is crucial for sure. Thanks my friend
Hey Dia, I like the first point: “Speak less.” I’m a huge believer in the ol’ saying “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
I generally keep thoughts to myself and try to avoid conflict so I don’t often find myself saying things that I regret. Of course, I’m only human, so it does happen every once in a while. It’s usually a lesson learned!
Thanks Elise
Hi Dia…
Great and very useful post! Certainly have had to use the tip on waiting a few seconds before I speak- it comes in useful to breathe deep for 10 seconds (or more-lol!) if feeling strong emotions about something in a conversation.
And I like your tip for talking less! It’s quite amazing how much people like to talk. A good listener seems to be much harder to come by than a good talker.
Hi Caludia,
Breathing for 10 seconds really helps calm us down. We have to learn to speak less when we are frustrated or angry, so we won’t regret our actions later on.
Great tips, Dia! I especially like the first one, “Speak Less.” I laughed when I first read it, but it really is true! If everyone just did that and thought before they spoke, I think the world would be a much better place.
Thanks for a great article
Hi Tristan,
Yea speaking less tends to help us avoid unnessary talk. Often times, we talk and listen less and at the end, we end up hurting or offending someone we don’t mean to.