How to make people listen to you?
Do you want people to listen and pay attention to what you say? Do you get frustrated when you talk and no one is interested in what you say? How do you make people listen to you?
You probably spend a lot of time interacting and talking with your colleagues, friends, and family every day. Yet, it happens so often that you will be saying something and the people you are having a conversation with are not listening to what you are trying to say, which usually frustrates you as the speaker.
Making people listen to you is an important skill that you have to acquire, especially when it comes to relationships. As I mentioned in my book “How to win your lover’s heart” that listening is a characteristic that successful partners have.
How to make people listen to you
To learn how to make people listen and pay attention to you, follow the steps below:
1. Make sure your message is clear
If your message is not clear, your audience or people who are listening to you might leave. If your message is not clear, then your audience might misunderstand you just like if someone asks you “What is your opinion about this subject?” without explaining what the subject is.
2. Eye contact
Studies show that one of the best way to engage people in a conversation and make them listen to you is to use eye contact. When you find someone stopped listening to you, look at him and try to engage him in the conversation once again.
3. Use the listener as an example
Let me ask you, if you hear someone mentioning your name in a conversation, what will you do? I’m sure you will be curious to know what that person is saying about you and why he is mentioning your name. Therefore, if you mention the listener’s name as an example during the conversation, that will increase the listener’s attention in what you are saying.
4. Start by mentioning a story
You probably already know that mentioning stories in conversations will attract your audience or the people you are engaging in a conversation with.
When you rephrase your listener’s ideas, that will make people interact more with you. For example, statements like “I agree with Megan” or “I like Jennifer’s idea” will make people more curious to know what those people have said.
6. Encourage others to participate
When you encourage your listeners to participate in the conversation, that will make them more interactive with what you are saying. One of the best ways you can do to encourage your listeners is by asking them questions and by asking for their feedback.
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These are amazing tips you share that are very useful and practical. I especailly like “rephrasing your listeners ideas” The ability to truly send a great message is first, to get on the same page as the listener and ask for clarity so the message you give is more clear as a result. Great post here Dia!
Thanks Baker! Exactly, it is essential we make sure that our message is clear, so the listener understands our point easily.
Dia: I think it is so important to focus on having amazing conversations with people and your tips are great for that. So often when people are having conversations, they are just focusing on their thoughts and the things they want to express. However, if we can really turn our attention to other people and focus our energy on the other person’s experience, then it seems to naturally happen that the conversation improves and everyone is more engaged. Great list of tips.
Hi Sibyl! Absolutly when we focus on what the other person needs to express, the conversations improves and we build connection with the listener. That is why it is very important to engage the listener in the conversation. Thanks Sibyl
Hi Dia,
I like the idea of using the listener as an example – yes ears always prick up when they hear their own name so I’m sure it would make an impression. I’ll give it a try!
Have a lovely weekend,
Kate.
Hi Kate,
Isn’t strange that when we hear our names mentioned we get curious? Using the listener as an example does that perfectly and they become interested in what we are saying. Have a great weekend Kate
I suspect these ideas work because I hear people use them frequently. I get annoyed when I know someone is using techniques to make me listen better, but I’m a bit weird.
The most important point is to have a clear message. If you can’t state it clearly, you probably don’t have something really important to say anyway.
I’m terrible at eye contact, by the way. Maybe that’s why I’m a writer.
Thanks Gip! Having a clear message is crucial, that is for sure. If our message is not clear, then the listener wouldn’t be interested in what we are saying and probably won’t get the message.
Hi Dia. Eye contact is a biggie for me. It seems like when I lose eye contact, I lost the other person’s attention, so sometimes I’ll simply stop talking and wait for their attention to return before continuing to talk.
Hi Jean,
Yea eye contact is a very important skill to have. It keeps people interested in what you are saying and it shows that you are confident in the process. Have a nice day Jean
Hi Dia,
Nice clear and easy pragmatic tips here. Things like eye contact exude a confidence in the speaker. It is very easy to lose a listener if we become shy and resigned. People will always listen to someone who is confident yet not overbearing.
Hi Rob,
I couldn’t have agreed more. Eye contact shows that the speaker is confident in himself and in what he is saying and as a result, will get the attention of the listener. If the speaker is not confident in himself, no one will believe what the speaker is saying.
Hi Dia,
Some excellent tips you’ve got there.
I think it’s important to include a “hook” in the way you present your information. It keeps your listeners engaged and entertained.
Rather than begin with: “I was at the supermarket this the morning…” you’d say: “You’d never guess what happened in the supermarket this morning!”
That way your listeners look forward to hearing what comes next.
Of course the first tip to gaining people’s attention is to never share boring stuff, or things they wouldn’t be interested in. I know someone who used to go on, and on, and on about his own interests, without realizing I fell asleep as he was talking. I think he was happy to hear his own voice, and didn’t care if I was listening or not!
Hi Haider,
Absolutly, including a “hook” as you call it is crucial and it is one of the things you can do to keep the listener engaged in what you are saying as the speaker. The xample you gave is really nice and helps keep the listener stay enagaged.
This was a great article Dia. Another point that I would add is from the classic “How To Win Friends And Influence People.” Dale Carnegie said the sweetest word in any language is a person’s name. So I try to use the other person’s name whenever possible.
Thanks again for the great post.
Thanks Joshua! Absolutly mentioning the person’s name is one of the best way to keep the person engaged. Have a great day Joshua
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