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How to forgive yourself

How to forgive yourself

Is forgiveness hard?  How to forgive yourself? 

John has cheated on his wife a few years ago and he can never forgive himself for what he has done. He says he will never forgive himself for his behavior, for hurting his wife, and for not being loyal to her.

Kelly came home tired and frustrated from her job. She started yelling and screaming at everyone in the house. When she calmed down a few hours later, she started to feel guilty and she wanted her family to forgive her for her behavior.

Do those stories sound familiar? What about you, do you love yourself enough to forgive yourself? Is it easy for you to forgive yourself? Have you done something that you feel you can’t forgive yourself?

People sometimes do some mistakes toward themselves and others. Sometimes, people also hurt others intentionally and unintentionally. When you hurt someone or do something that you are not proud of and start feeling guilty, the first thing you need to do is forgive yourself before you ask others to forgive you. Whether you screamed at your child, hurt your partner, lied at your friend, it is necessary to forgive yourself for your own sake and others.

How to forgive yourself

To learn how to forgive yourself, follow the quick guide below:

1. Recognition

Recognize your behavior and what you have done. If it is something simple such as screaming at your child, your partner, then work on understanding yourself and emotions. It is also necessary to understand why you took this action that you have to forgive yourself for now.

2. Learn your lesson

After you recognize what you have done, you need to learn your lesson from the experience, so you won‘t repeat it again. Ask yourself, what can you learn from this experience? Do you have to change some habits or behaviors to avoid such experience?

3. Forgive yourself

Realize that you are a human and everyone makes “mistakes” or does things that we are not proud of. If you stay upset and angry at yourself, this will not benefit you. All it will do is cause you pain, grief, stress, and could lead you into depression. Therefore, it is better to realize that you are a human and then make a decision to forgive yourself.

Remember, the main purpose for forgiveness is to release yourself from all the negativity and the pain you have.  Once the negative energy is released, you can move forward in your life. 

Always remember the proverb, “We achieve inner health only through forgiveness . The forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves.”

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  1. Showing forgiveness is difficult because there are typically so many emotions tied to the event where forgiveness is required. The three steps you provide are spot on – beginning with acknowledging the need for forgiveness in the first place.


    • Dia says:

      Hi Alex,

      For sure my friend, forgiveness can be tough, but if we really understand our emotions toward the event, we can find a place in our heart to forgive, for our own sake, so we get rid of bitterness and the anger.

  2. Dia: I think this is one of those very important topics because when we are unable to forgive ourselves, we really can hold ourselves back. I particularly appreciated your advice to acknowledge you are human and are going to make mistakes from time to time. Life really is all about living and learning and in order to do that, we have to leave ourselves room to make mistakes.

    • Dia says:

      Hi Sibyl,

      Exactly my friend, we are all human and we can make mistakes. We have to forgive ourselves, so we can move forward in our lives.

  3. Forgiving yourself is not that easy , I have to admit, but we all have free decision we can make. forgetting about the past error and delusion can be a cause of forgiveness.
    Kate Brown Wilson recently posted..סנדלים

  4. Julie Hayes says:

    Its very helpful to try to forgive our self if ever we did a mistake, its part of moving on and we cannot move on unless we forgive our self and to learn from it.
    Julie Hayes recently posted..סנדלים

  5. Mika Castro says:

    There are so many people forgiving others as washing away guilt, however for some main reasons, cannot seem to forgive themselves for things they have done in their past mistakes. Nobody is perfect. We’re prone to make mistakes as a human being.
    Mika Castro recently posted..דיוור אלקטרוני