How to deal with emotional abuse
Are you in an abusive relationship? Is dealing with emotional abuse hard? How to deal with emotional abuse?
Jennifer mentions that her partner keeps saying abusive words and statements to her. She has informed him many times that abusive words are worse than physical abuse because according to her, physical abuse goes away with time, but abusive words stay for ever in her brain.
Let me ask you, do you use uplifting statements to your partner or negative statements that put you partner down?
As I mentioned in my book “How to win your lover’s heart” that there is nothing worse than hurting your partner’s feelings and emotions. On the contrary, as long as you stay abusive to your partner, you are losing their love instead of winning it. Respect is crucial for every healthy relationship and for every marriage. You have to make sure to be gentle with your partner’s emotions. The successful person is the one who appreciates his partner’s feelings and emotions. When your partner talks about their emotions, listen carefully. Never use vulgar, negative, and abusive language toward your partner.
Signs of emotional abuse
1. Your partner keeps saying abusive language to you and insulting you.
2. Your partner keeps putting you down.
3. Your partner keeps blaming you for everything that happens in life.
Understanding emotional abuse
Before you learn how to deal with emotional abuse, you have to understand its causes. What makes a person be abusive? A person can be abusive for many different reasons:
1. Learning from the parents
Many people are abusive in their relationship because they have learned to be abusive from their parents. For example, if your partner saw his father say abusive words to his mother, then he learned as a child to behave in a similar way. Remember, more than 90% of our ideas and beliefs are acquired by the age 7 and mainly from our parents.
2. Wanting to be in control
Another reason that could make an individual abusive is wanting to be in control all the time. For example, if a man wants to watch a specific show on television, but his wife wants to watch another show, then he might start becoming abusive and demand to watch his show, so he shows his power and stays in control of the situation.
How to deal with emotional abuse
To learn how to deal with an emotionally abusive relationship, follow the below guide:
1. Take responsibility
Understand that as long as you don’t take responsibility for yourself and stop the abuse, things won’t change. If you don’t tell your partner that it is not OK to stay abusing you and that you won’t tolerate it, he will continue. Inform your partner that you won’t stay in an abusive relationship and that the abuse has to stop.
2. Visualize
Start holding visualization sessions daily. In each session, begin to see your partner talking to you in a polite, kind, and compassionate way. During your visualization, hear your partner’s voice, smell their perfume and see them in front of you. It is very crucial that you believe what you are visualizing, otherwise, your visualization will not have much power.
3. Seek professional help
If you have been in a long emotionally abusive relationship, then you might want to seek professional help. Many people are too shy to seek professional help fearing what other people are going to say about them. Realize that there is nothing wrong about asking for help, so keep that option open all the time.
Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away. How to win your lover’s heart was released by 2achieveyourgoals.com to help you win and capture your lover’s heart and avoid breakups. To check 2achieveyourgoals.com books, click here
For more information, read:
How to save your relationship and marriage
How to build healthy relationships
6 steps to improve your relationship with your spouse
Hey Dia – I used to be a very callused individual because of emotional abuse. I’ve been fortunate enough to rarely experience this directly – but I think indirectly still comes with a lot of negative baggage. To make my situation more interesting is that I think I caused most of the abuse to myself by keeping things within. Growing up I had to mask many emotions which lead me to become hard and emotionally withdrawn.
In 2003 when my daughter was born – I cried like a baby man. For like 10 minutes. Seriously, a 10 minute cry. I think I cried out every emotion that I had withheld inside of me. I wanted to change because I knew that my approach would not allow me to be the best dad that I could be. When she came out, and looked just like me – it hit…I have to be the best that I can because my life is no longer about me, it’s about her (and now, all 3 of my kids).
Today, I’m much more kind to myself. As you see I’m willing to release these emotions. But deep inside, I’m very personal and sometimes find it uncomforting to put myself out there. It’s hard to shake the feeling – but I do so – I just let the fingers do the talking (typing).
This past six months or so in the blogging world has allowed me to connect to areas of myself that I didn’t really know prior. So, I do feel that progress is in motion.
Wonderful tips on how to deal with this. I’m sure this will be of great assistance to others, as it has been to me. peace.
Hi JK,
Yea dealing with emotional abuse is tough. The key is to not let it keep happening and move forward. Venting and expressing your emotions really helps bring those emotions outside. Thanks JK
Wow JK, that was an awesome story man. I’m blown away. Thanks for being as real as it gets my friend.
Dia, I’m very lucky that my current girlfriend and I have an amazing relationship where we get on so well, and we’d never harm each other. But I’ve had relationships before where there was a level of emotional abuse, and it wasn’t pretty at times.
Blackmail, jealousy, and plain insults came about quite a few times, and this all contributed to the relationship’s downfall. I’m a different person now, but I wouldn’t be where I am now if it wasn’t for those failed relationships.
Thanks for sharing such a thought-provoking subject Dia
Hi Stuart,
Exactly, emotional abuse is tough. After all, no one wants to deal with blackmail, jealousy, and insults my friend. I’m glad that you have a nice relationship with your girlfriend
Dia, powerful post on emotional abuse. I think a big part of the problem is that the abuser doesn’t realize he/she is doing anything wrong. They may realize they’re “a bit” harsh from time to time but have literally no awareness of just how much damage they do. Often they’re self-righteous right-fighters who must always be right. The abused, on the other hand, is usually low self-esteemed to begin with. They have trouble standing up for themselves. To some degree they treat others how to treat them. I think they need to find someone they can confide in. A counselor maybe. And get the support they need to walk away. Awesome job.
Hi Bryan,
Yea, for sure Bryan, the abused and the abuser usually have low self-esteem, that is why they attracted each other and that is why they deal with abuse in the first place. Talking to a counselor for sure is very helpful as it helps both improve their relationship and overcome the “abusive” part.
Hey Dia,
Thanks for the fantastic article!
I am horrible about holding in feelings all the girls I have ever dated they always said at the end I showed no emotion, like I was supposed to cry or something lol. Naw but, I have had a lot of struggle and the only way I ever have been is a person that holds in what there feeling and not let it show. I could be having the worst possible day, but I won’t let it show instead you will always see a smile on my face. Really that is going to hurt me in the long run, because I have a lot of emotions that I have not gotten out(not the girlfriend emotions I really didn’t care about that lol).
Thanks again!
God bless,
William Veasley
Hi William,
Expressing your emotions is very much needed in life. Many guys don’t express their emotions because society taught us that expressing emotions like crying is a sign of weakness, but in reality, it is a sign of strength and humanity.
This is very serious subject matter, and I’m glad to see someone handling it. You’re doing a great job with this, as you always do.
I admit to having emotional issues I haven’t dealt with. Part of my life’s journey is to unwind them all.
Gip
Thanks Gip, glad you liked it
The way is to seek help and face the reality. Move away from the situation and grow your wings. great post. Very thought provoking.
Seeking help and moving on is crucial Jonathan, otherwise, the individual stays stuck in the same place.
Hi Dia,
I got chills when I read this title. I’ve been in relationships with emotional bullies. My experience has told me that these situations don’t usually get better, they get worse. It’s different when our partner has a bad day and comes home saying some negative things, but when it is constantly and persistently directed at us that is abuse in every sense of the word. It is very difficult to take care of ourselves when this is going on. You are so right about seeking counceling. Nobody has to be a viticm of emotional abuse! Great work Dia!
Hi Dandy,
For sure my friend, emotional abuse is tough and should not be tolerated. There has to be respect in a relationship. Otherwise, the relationship will not last and will be full of negativity.
This was deep, powerful stuff Dia. I’ve enjoyed reading the comments as much as the article itself. It’s really amazing how so many have experienced emotional abuse in some way yet we naturally assume that most haven’t ever had to deal with such events in their life.
Great post Dia.
Marcus
Hi Marcus,
Exactly, so many have experienced emotional abuse and still do. Every person who is being abused has to put an end to it.