How to apologize to someone
How to apologize to someone? Is apologizing a sign of weakness?
We all know what an apology is. It is an expression of remorse and guilt because of what you said or done to someone that caused him pain, hurt his feelings, or turned him down. How many times have you said something that caused pain to someone? It happens so often that when we are angry, frustrated, or stressed, we end up saying something that we might regret, then we start looking for ways to apologize.
Some people find it difficult to apologize as they believe this will lower their status and pride. Remember that you are a human and apologizing would show that you are not afraid to apologize if you offend or hurt someone and it has nothing to do with your pride, status, and prestige. On the contrary, apologizing shows that you are taking full responsibility for what you have said or done.
Kinds of apologies
Verbal apology
The main difference between verbal and written apology is that verbal apology doesn’t give the other person much time to react. That is why it is crucial to plan for what to do when the other person reacts to your apology, whether it is positive or negative. If you can’t handle face to face apologies, then it is better to send a written apology.
Written apology
The advantage of written apology is that it gives the other person a chance to absorb what is written and might consider your words and apology. It will also helps you to avoid confrontation in case the other person responds in a non-acceptable way, so a letter of apology could be beneficial in some cases.
How to apologize
To Learn how to apologize to someone, follow the quick guide below:
1. Be sincere
2. Do not justify your actions
3. Choose your words
In the first sentence you are not interested in apologizing, but it just happened due to the circumstances, but in the second example, you are very much interested in apologizing and you actually went to the person to apologize.
4. Decide to change
Show the other person that you vow to not repeat what has happened. Otherwise, if you don’t learn from your mistakes and keep making the same ones over and over again, then you are more likely to make them again and the other person will not trust you.
5. Prepare yourself
Prepare yourself that some people might not accept your apology. Know that you have done the best you can and with time, the other person will accept your apology .
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Good advice Dia.
When we speak from the heart, and our words having true meaning, the person receiving the apology will hear them clearer.
Alex
Well, it somehow also depends on the level of the emotional damage we have caused those persons…
Hi Alex,
For sure my freind, when we are sincere, others will feal it and will accept our apology.
Dia: Great advice. I think one of the best skills we can have is to be a great apologizer. Some people are really terrible at it or just don’t do it as often as they should. I really liked this post because it gives some great information on how we can get better and better at it and the tips you shared are really helpful. I think what you pointed out about not justifying your actions is so important. It is easy to fall into the trap of justifying your actions and that can actually overshadow the sincerity of your apology. Great post.
Hi Sibyl,
For sure my friend, if we try to justify our actions all the time, then it might show people that we are not being sincere when we apologize.
Great post, Dia. I have always found it so interesting why so many people refuse to apologize when they’ve hurt someone. They will justify, avert, and distract – anything to avoid admitting they are wrong. I’m probably the other extreme – maybe it’s the people-pleaser in me that can’t stand having someone upset with me – where I probably apologize too much for things I didn’t even do.
I think the lesson there is not to be a doormat, but don’t grow cold either. Thanks for the thinker, man.
Hi Bryan,
I agree many people don’t like to apologize because they think it hurts their “pride.” On the contrary, it shows how human all are.
Yeah Dia, love this man, especially #2. An apology simply isn’t an apology if it’s accompanied with an excuse…otherwise, it’s just a load of bull.
Great reminders here man.
Hi Marcus,
I agree my friend, the apology has to be sincere and doesn’t include excuses, so others will accept it and feel our sincerity when we apologize.
Great tips Dia. If say, we are late; it is important to take 100% responsibility. Once we start making excuses we give our power away. We all have to apologize sometimes, but nothing sets you up for success better than learning from the mistake and taking the corrective action to improve.
Hi Rob,
Learning from our mmistakes is crucial as it helps us avoid the mistakes that we did in the past. When we take 100% responsibililty for our actions and apologize to someone if we hurt them, then we are on the right path.
Yes, great tips and always useful to know how to really make a good apology(since no one is perfect!)
I think #2 of ‘not justifying your actions’ is really important, and goes hand in hand with ‘mirroring’ or relaying to the person exactly why they have been hurt–letting them know you really understand why your actions have hurt them.
It serves the purpose of letting the hurt person know you really ‘get’ their feelings, and also lets you really put yourself in their shoes, therefore diminishing the chance of making the same mistake again.
Great post Dia, thanks!
Hi Claudia,
Exactly once we justify our actions, then others will not take our apology seriously, since we are trying to make excuses for what we have done or said.
Hi Dia,
This is a very smart post. It is also a heavy subject. Apologizing is so hard. But every one of your tips is right on the money. Especially #2 not justifying our actions is a biggie. It’s like apologizing then taking it all back. As the imperfect human being we all are there comes those times where we really do have to apologize to someone. I’m glad you wrote this Dia! Well done!
Dandy
This is a very smart post and a heavy subject. I agree with Dia. I never been the best at apologizing, but i know one thing. The person who does it first, is the strongest!
For sure Jonathan, the one who does it first is the strongest as it shows how human we are when we apologize and take responsibility for what we said or done.
Hi Dandy,
Exactly my friend, apologizing can be hard especially if someone is used to doing it often. Many people try to justify what they said or done, so they won’t apologize directly to the person who they offended or hurt. I must say it doesn’t make things better.
This is a great one. I have so many people in my life who just can’t say sorry. For some reason, they just can’t apologize. Personally, I feel a sense of relief when I apologize to another. It releases me, more than excuses them.
Thanks for the great work (as usual) Dia!
Hi JK,
For sure my friend, when we apologize, we will have an inner peace inside ourselves as know what did what we can to make the situation better.
Hello! For me, I find it hard to apologize personally to the other person. Most of the time, I say sorry through phone or email or send them a PM in Facebook. I really do not like having grudges on to someone, especially with a close friend. It makes me think that the other person won’t forgive me for what i have done wrong. But yeah, i think you’re right. Prepare. I need to be prepared in order for me to accept the wrong things i have done and prepare for the time on when will the other person will accept my apology. Thanks for an interesting post.
Hi,
Yea, many people do have a hard time to apologize as they are not used to doing it often. The important thing is to take responsibility for what we have said/done and make an effort to make things better by apologizing. After all, we are all human and make mistakes.
Dia,
Nice post. It is very important to know how to apologize. It is also important in some ways to to do it TOO frequently.
Some people apologize for lots of things. this just undercuts the value of a “real” apology. Therefore only apologizing when you have really done something wrong and feel heartflet is an important part of the equation.
Hi Steve,
I agree my friend, over-apologizing is not good. It is important that we apologize when we hurt or offend someone. It is all about creating a balance and having judgement.
These are all great tips. For me, apologizing has never been difficult as I don’t want unintentionally transgress against anyone in any way. It is unfortunate that some people see admitting their wrongs as a weakness.
Hi Lisa,
I agree with you apologizing is actually a sign of strength. Apologizing shows that we are taking responsibility for what we said/done.
Hi Dia! I like “Do not justify your actions” because we often explain so much when we’re trying to apologize that we end up diluting the apology. When we concentrate on the sentiment of the apology, it’s about the other person, making they feel better, and making their world right again.
Thanks for this beautiful post. Loving blessings!
Hi Andrea,
Exactly my friend, it is about the other person and making him feel better. We should be sincere when we apologize, otherwise, our apology will not get to the other person’s heart.