How can I control my anger
How can I control my anger? Is controlling my anger an impossible task?
Mike loves his wife very much and wants to treat her with respect, but he has a hot temper and when they argue, he starts yelling and shouting. Controlling anger seems very hard for him and an impossible task. Does this story sound familiar?
Controlling anger seems to be a problem for men more than women according to various studies. Shouting, yelling, and verbal abuse are common characteristics for angry people. To get rid of those characteristics from your personality, you need to learn about the different anger management techniques to manage and control your anger.
How to control anger
If your goal is to learn how to control your anger, follow the below steps:
Is it really worth it
One of my favorite ways to control anger is asking myself “Is it really worth it to get angry over this issue?” then I make a decision that it is not worth it to get angry over this situation that I’m in. I then immediately look for something positive to focus on.
As I stated in my book “the ultimate guide to managing your anger” this is a great way to put the problem behind you, so it doesn’t affect you or the other person negatively. You also start to avoid unnecessary anger and feeling of frustration and resentment.
Breathing exercises
Learn the art of breathing from your diaphragm. When you are angry, your breathing tends to be shallow. When you learn to control your breathing, you then can control your emotions including your anger.
Relaxation techniques
Relaxation exercises are great to help you manage and reduce your anger. Relaxation techniques are known to relax your muscles such as yoga, aerobics, stretching, and tai chi. Once you incorporate relaxation techniques in your life, not only will you be able to control your anger, but you will also improve the overall of your health.
Walking
Running and walking are two great anger management techniques used by many to reduce tension and control anger. Has anyone ever tell to “Go and take a walk?” when you were in a state of anger? Walking is intended to relax and calm your down, so it is one of the most effective anger management techniques used today.
Control your self talk
Controlling your self talk is one of the most important anger management techniques used by many people. How often you were sitting and after a few minutes you found yourself having a fight with someone all in your mind because you let your mind run wild?
Most people don’t know how to control their self talk, so they become servant to whatever thought pops up in their heads. The good news is once you start controlling your self talk, you can control your anger much, much better.
Use your sense of humor
Using your sense of humor can help you release the tension you have when you are angry. When you release the tension during the times of anger and bring in some humor, you avoid frustration and resentment.
As you can see, learning how to control anger can be achieved by recognizing your anger, then finding the right method that works for you best.
Have you ever wondered why some people are happy and have peace of mind while others keep worrying? Why do some people’s life filled with worry while others filled with happiness and peace of mind? My e-book How to have peace of mind answers those questions and teaches you the scientific ways to control and overcome worry and have peace of mind.
For more information, read:
Why am I so angry all the time?
Hi Dia,
Great article. Controlling your own anger is important to grow personal. If you cannot control your own anger, anger will control you.
Thanks for sharing
– determination and flexibility
marc van der linden recently posted..The 10 day mental change – second round ( DAY
Great post Dia!
I found that asking myself the question “Is it really worth it?” can help. But soon, I started asking “is it really EVER worth it?” After reading this post, I just sat back and tried asking when anger can really help you in life – but apart from sports (maybe), I can’t think of anything. So, is anger really EVER really a plausible reaction to something?
Alex Mangini recently posted..Iconic Quote: Albert Einstein [Everybody is a Genius]
Hi Dia,
Anger is destructive mostly though some “anger” can be used to motivate. Finding out the cause of one’s anger would be the most helpful. I breathe, walk & laugh a lot however can still get angry though more at myself than anything else.
be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted..Living Life Today – Thoughts that catch the heart are incredibly important
Hey Dia!
Such a critically important article, my friend! So many marriages are ruined and relationship with children corrupted and so much of life lived with less happiness because of uncontrolled anger!
Great tips for overcoming that caged lion!
Ken Wert recently posted..5 (more) Beliefs that will Change your Life
I find anger is often the result of a failed intention. We so often want things to go a certain way, or want people to be a certain way, and anger is typically the result of finding out that what we want does not always translate into what actually is.
We claim things are unfair and momentarily resent life. We are control junkies and like it or not we want it all.
The medicine is a little bitter. Relaxing into what is and recognizing the limits of our influence humbles us.
Try wanting a star to shine brighter and see if it cares. Then get mad at the star, actually mad. You can do it although it seems a little crazy.
Finding the way to your anger will have you find your way out of it much quicker.
Hi Dia,
Yes, I am one of those that can become angry when overwhelmed by circumstances and demands of life. Anger is actually an unintended abuse on others. When you are angry, you are not really yourself. You do things that hurt others that you will not do when you are ok.
Prevention and awareness is always the best to prevent people reaching that angry state. I find that having a angry barometer and been constantly aware of our reading if crucial. When the level is approaching toxic levels, it is best to leave and go for a walk like you say.
When shit hits the fan, it is very difficult though not impossible to snap out of it. Having people around to alert us and tell us that we are angry can really help. They can also help with pattern interrupt which is so effective.
Jimmy recently posted..The Needs of Our Souls for Inspired Living
Hi Dia,
Wonderful article on controlling anger. It can be such a problem in relationships, and really unnecessary. You have some great suggestions on ways to control anger. I find that exercise keeps me relaxed and helps in so many areas, such as controlling anger.
Cathy | Treatment Talk recently posted..Have You Had Any Regrets Lately?
Dia,
The best way I control my anger is by following the ten-second rule: I count to ten before reacting in any way. After all, anger typically leads to regret – and who needs that?
Alex
Hey Dia,
I like this post especially the more ‘physical’ remedies such as breathing and walking, I have never tried any of these methods so would be nice to try. Personally when I get angry I stop myself straight away and immediately ask myself the question ‘What am I supposed to learn here?’ I’ve learn to take each time I get angry and turn it around into something positive. I’ve found this works really well for me.
Great article, Dia. The seeds of anger are within us all. There is no denying that fact. It is vital that we embrace our anger and allow it to exist. We can thus take action and use these concrete steps to control our anger. From this power position we can nourish the seeds of peace and calm.
rob white recently posted..Intelligence is Limber
Hi Dia,
Great reminder to us all. Anger is a part of life and these are great ways to control it.
My hubby and children always know when I get angry, because I can get a lot of work done. It is usually physical work. Like cleaning the house. Guess you could say I just get quite and work, work. After that I am ready to to talk about it and laugh about it.
They always kid me that if you want or need some work do, just make mom a little unset and she is sure to get the work done. (which is true)
Blessing to you and have a wonderful day.
Debbie
Debbie @ Happy Maker recently posted..The Signs of a Happily Married Couple
Hello Dia
How are you?
Thanks for sharing this helpful tips on controlling ones anger/temper.
Breathing as well as counting is quite useful because it tends to slow one down.
Walking is another great example. In fact it’s always better to walk out of a heated scenario, calm down before returning to discuss issues to prevent prolonged arguments, unnecessary shouting and possible violence
Sense of humour. There was an article in the papers a few days ago asking if people in Britain had lost their sense of humour because it appears everyone is complaining about everything.
It’s important we try as much as possible to keep our sense of humour intact.
Thanks for sharing this Dia
Take care of yourself and enjoy the rest of the day.
Thank you all for your comments and support
Dia recently posted..Falling out of love
Hello Dia,
this was a great post. I, myself, find that it is impossible that people keep the anger inside themselves. It is not very healthy to not let out our true feelings. Pressing down the anger can only have negative side affects. Now, the problem is how some people show their anger. We dont need to be physically abusive in order to show that we are angry. For me, simple yelling would do just fine, and i feel more relaxed.
EleonoraEOF recently posted..Why Playing Golf Helps You Lose Weight and Keep Fit
Hello Dia!
Thanks for doing this post. This will help me a lot. You know, I actually have a very little patience. I get piss off easily even in a small things. Like when I’m doing something at home and my wife will keep on asking me about anything, sometimes I yelled on her too.. But afterwards I felt bad ‘coz I know I hurt her emotionally. I can’t control it. These steps will be a great help for me. I’ll assure you that I will exercise this everyday.
Benson Rivera recently posted..My Arowana Is Not Eating No Matter What I Do !!!