Skip to content

Emotional security in a relationship

Emotional security in a relationship

What do women want in a relationship? Do women need emotional security and emotional safety? How to give your girlfriend or wife emotional safety?

To be able to win your lover’s heart, then you need to provide your partner emotional security and safety. This is true especially for women.  Of course, both men and women need reassurance, however, women need more reassurance and emotional security than men based on their psychology.

If you are a man reading this, then you have to learn that the psychology of women differs from the psychology of men. Women are different, not only physiologically, but also psychologically.

A woman needs to hear more from her partner the followings:

  • She is the most important woman for you
  • She is your number one priority
  • She needs to know that you are proud of her
  • She needs to know that there is no woman like her
  • She needs to know that you love her
  • She needs to know that you will stay with her for ever
  • She needs to know you are loyal to her

These statements give women emotional security and stability. As I stated in my book “How to win your lover’s heart” that the successful man is the one who always shows his partner affection and gives his lover emotional stability.

Never compare your girlfriend or wife with any other woman including famous women. Comparing your wife to another woman can be an insult to her and might give her the feeling of insecurity.

Mike mentions that he made a huge mistake one night when he came back from a dinner with his friend where he started to mention to his wife how kind and generous his friend’s wife is. After Mike enumerated his friend’s wife positive qualities, his wife started to get angry and jealous and said, “Go and be with that woman.”

Mike mentions that at first, he didn’t realize why his wife reacted in a negative way, but then he realized that he should never compare his wife to other women as this could make his wife insecure.  

Never compare your girlfriend or wife with any other woman and accept her the way she is. Let her be the way she is and give her your unconditional love.    Remember, your lover wants to be number one in your life and it is very difficult for her to feel that if you keep comparing her to other women. 

Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away. How to win your lover’s heart was released by to help you win and capture your lover’s heart and avoid breakups.  To check books, click here

For more information, read:

You are responsible for your happiness

How to build healthy relationships

How to nurture a relationship?

Win your lover's heart The ultimate guide to achieve your goals How to have peace of mind


  1. ayo says:

    hello dia
    how are you?
    thank for sharing this and you make an important fact not making so much comparisons with other times it fuels arguments and tensions you would naturally want to avoid.we must appreciate our partners/spouses for who they are and how much they have contributed to make the relationship grow, stand by them, support them and most of all love them.
    take care of yourself and enjoy the rest of the day
    ayo recently posted..The Purpose Radio – Coming Soon!!

    • Dia says:

      Hi Ayo,

      Exactly my friend, we have got to express our love and passion to our partners. This is true especially for women as this is one of the main keys to winning their hearts. Thanks Ayo
      Dia recently posted..Do you have faith in yourself

  2. Dandy says:

    Hi Dia,
    Your tips are right on. When there is no emotional security in a relationship it won’t be a healthy one. We have to take care of each others feelings. We need to validate each others feelings. It’s huge. Communication is vital to a relationship and when there is emotional stability this makes communication so much easier! Thanks alot Dia!
    Dandy recently posted..How to Survive Adversity and Yes- Even Thrive!

  3. Hey Hey Dia! Man, are you wise beyond your years, my friend! Ha ha. You’d think guys would have it better figured out these days, but many still don’t get just how important emotional security can be for our loves. My wife has sometimes had to set me down and get my attention with this in the past. Thankfully, I’ve learned some important lessons about making her feel like the only woman in the room whenever she enters. Hope you’re well, buddy!
    Bryan Thompson recently posted..7 Lessons on the Simple Life from Eureka Springs

    • Dia says:

      Hi Bryan,

      I consider myself lucky Bryan that I know these things about relationships and women. I have learned a lot in the past 31 years. I think many men know about this, but they don’t apply it to their lives. This is why it is very important to apply what we learn to our lives, so we our relationships can prosper. Thanks Bryan
      Dia recently posted..Do you have faith in yourself

  4. Stuart says:

    Ah Dia, if only men knew how to please women, then we’d all be doing it 😉

    Seriously great read, I know it’s very important for a man to tell a woman that he chose to be with her because she was the only one for him (or words to that effect). Women love to be complimented in that way, and so do men.

    Men aren’t the tough grizzly pieces of leather of old any more. We’re discovering our feelings, and how to connect with our emotions. Perhaps women find this endearing? 😉
    Stuart recently posted..How To Read Books More Effectively

    • Dia says:

      Hi Stu,

      Yea, I agree with you my friend, we (men) need to learn to express our emotions more often. Some believe it is wrong for men to express their feelings, but this is part of humanity. Thanks Stu
      Dia recently posted..Do you have faith in yourself

  5. Jk Allen says:

    Hey Dia – this was the truth. A subject that we can’t forget. For me, being a married with kids I pay very close attention to these things. I do it not only because of my wife, but I want my daughters to understand how a relationship is supposed to work. Thankfully my wife and I get along great, so it’s an effortless endeavor. I’m not perfect, so there are times when I make stupid mistakes and say stupid things – but I can generally admit to them and get back on track!

    Thank you sir!
    Jk Allen recently posted..What is a Hustler- and Why it’s NOT for Everyone

    • Dia says:

      Hi JK,

      This is great my friend that you are trying to teach your children all the positive qualities as children learn from their parents. 😉 I agree with you that it is very important to pay attention to these things as women love these things. Thanks JK
      Dia recently posted..Do you have faith in yourself

  6. rob white says:

    Yes Dia,
    A healthy relationship requires our true presence. There is no feigning when it comes to emotional security. Real security means that we always support the expression of our significant others Authentic nature. Silly mistakes and petty arguments are decimated by the gift of being truly present.
    rob white recently posted..Computer Effort is Not Enough

    • Dia says:

      Hi Rob,

      Exactly my friend, we have got to be present in relationships and always show our partner affection. The more we are present and actively appreciating the other, then we will have a healthy relationship. Thanks Rob
      Dia recently posted..Do you have faith in yourself

  7. Frank says:


    Great Post. The statement that you mentioned are indeed very powerful. By saying these statements you can repair and build your relationships and by displaying these with your actions you can solidify a relationship that can stand through the storms of life. This was great! Good Job.
    Frank recently posted..Nothing is Impossible

    • Dia says:

      Hi Frank,

      This is true my friend, with expressing our love and affection, we can maintain and improve our relationship with our partner. Women especially need to hear such loving statements from us (men). Thanks Frank
      Dia recently posted..Do you have faith in yourself

  8. Hello Dia,
    I like your your part about unconditional love. If you really love someone then I think love has to be unconditional. That doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries that require you to sometimes say no or that you always understand their behavior but your love has to be unwavering. Thanks for a good blog and a very important topic.
    Riley Harrison recently posted..GOAL SETTING THAT WORKS part 7

    • Dia says:

      Hi Riley,

      Yep, unconditional love is what makes a relationship a success my friend. The problem is the majority don’t even know about it. The ones who do know about it, don’t apply it to their relationships. If we apply unconditional love even 80% in our relationships, then we are on the right path to having a successful relationship. Thanks Riley
      Dia recently posted..Do you have faith in yourself

  9. Thanks Dia. Really appreciate this one. And there is all the truth in the world in these lines. You did a wonderful job. No women can complain with this list. Guess I am lucky that I can say, “I get all of these from hubby.”
    Thanks again. Debbie

  10. Dia, can we talk enough about the importance of understanding the opposite sex?? Heck no man, as life is simply one long learning process that ideally helps with this struggle. One of the best books I’ve seen on this was ‘The 5 Love Languages’. That book really helped me understand that my wife receives love differently than I do, and I need to focus on that properly.

    Good stuff Dia, as always man.

    Marcus Sheridan, The Sales Lion recently posted..Relationship Marketing- Emotional Connections- and the Power of YOU

    • Dia says:

      Hi Marcus,

      Exactly my friend, women receive love different than men. This is why it is crucial to know the differences between males and females. This sounds like a good book, I will read it. Thanks Marcus
      Dia recently posted..Do you have faith in yourself

  11. Dia: Great post and message. We really do have to be aware of what we are saying and how it is impacting other people. We need to be aware of the things that will help people feel better and know who we feel about them and then we have to be willing to share those things. Great post.
    Sibyl – alternaview recently posted..Why You Really Should Change Your Routine