Be who you are and allow others to be who they are
Do you want everyone to be just like you? Do you want others to agree with you constantly and if they don’t you become defensive?
Allowing yourself to live the way you like to live and allowing others to live the way they see fit for themselves is a way of life. Usually there are many people who try to program you to believe in what they say and do based on what they believe in.
You need to remind yourself constantly that you are not living on this earth to do what others want you to do. God gave you a mind to use and a free will to think and do whatever you feel suitable for you as long as you don’t hurt anyone else in the process.
When you inform others that you intend to live your life the way you see fit, it doesn’t mean you are selfish or ego-centric. On the contrary, it means you appreciate and value your thoughts and ideas. You will not be able to fulfill your purpose and mission in life if you live your life according to what others want.
If you imitate others and try to do what others do, you will not be able to become creative and distinguished in life. There is nothing wrong if you see something you like in others and try to engrain it in yourself or a habit that you see someone else is doing and you start to incorporate it in your life. The important thing to remember is that you to think for yourself and live as you desire.
Allow other people to be who they are
Just as you want to be independent and live according to your desires, you need to let others do the same. There is no need to force your opinions or thoughts on anyone. You can advise them or explain to them your point of view, but you have no right to force things on them.
It is the fact that each one of us is different that makes life fun and worth-living, otherwise, it would be boring if everyone has the same thoughts, works in the same field, and eats the same way.
Personally, when I see a group of people who all are from a certain sect, I try to distant myself from them as they tend to program others based on their belief system. It is variety that makes the world go around.
If someone disagrees with you on certain topic, then that is fine. If you believe in one religion and the other individual believes in a different religion, then that is fine. If someone believes in one political party while the other person believes in a different group, then that is fine as well.
Most of the problems in the world stem from the fact that each one tries to prove that his way of living is the right way or his religion is the correct one, or his belief system is correct and the rest is wrong.
Stop defining others (exercise)
So how do we stop defining others? How do we accept others as they are?
We all know that defining others is wrong yet the majority try to define others in their own way, therefore, we need to start with changing ourselves first.
Below is an exercise that will help you in this process. This exercise, if done correctly, will help you to accept others as they are without feeling the need to change them.
Write down 5 things that you do in your life in order to please others and win their approval. Then, go to each person who you are trying to please and say something like, “I am not happy doing …(fill in the task) and I hope you understand.”
They might disapprove of what you tell them or they might get upset at you, but that is fine as that is their choice. You have informed them of your view and that is what counts. It is important to remember not to feel guilty as guilt is a negative emotion that makes you feel inferior and less satisfied.
Remember to allow others to disagree with you as not everyone has to agree with your beliefs or life style. Accepts variety in life and try not to feel annoyed by it.
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